Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Someone told me to post this.... So here it is!

This is the poem I read at the last poetry reading... It's a found poem from the book "Stigma" by Erving Goffman

appreciated pressure
broken notion of males
replaced image
rendering identifiably individual
complex, body-bound behavior
and personal identity
history pegs others
sticky, structured, standardized, social set
unchanging biological attributes
permanently pegs behavior

popular personal public perserved
his name officially recorded
carries important aspects
of social identity
average aliases
used identity
embodied signs of stigma
establishing dangerous error
ambiguity transforming
into forgery
social facts
authorized stigma symbols

may potentially enter surface
exploited identity
concealing personal identity
incognito oral statements
insufficient attempt appropriate always

life anchored
by social scientists
retrospective society
scoundrel man cannot contrast
social segregation
frequency of misrepresentation
“dressing down”, cheap
personal identity to sustain woman
working class permissable
possession strange possessor, him
middle class deviates
undesirable candor
knowing embarrassment
tactless and concealed

outright implication
accounting the facts
bearing personal social identification
consolidating possession
revealed prejudices
stigma behavior
anonymously private audience

homosexuals remain knowing and unknowing
those bring information
for someone whom they have no personal biography
nonetheless not known personal identity
presence personal particular
anonymous anonymity
marked socially outside
mental placing
well-known function
whose entrance is suspicious
circle him
smaller circle
socially personally
acquaintanceship of almost identity

contrast fame
in rare desirable possession
cognitively promiscuous
chased where
average active accident alibi
hand fate fame
obvious social control
molested young girls
movies on a larger scale
appearance of personal identification
fixing minds
control control
circle large

“private” transformed into “public” image
personally direct
inflated dramatic appearance
cuts spoiled newsworthy
uncharacteristic attributes
love hate
physical deformity
hostile although incompatible
vastly different personal identification
haphazard role
undiagnosed concern
prostitutes, thieves, homosexuals, beggars, drug addicts, tramps
expose their status
unapparent mutual failings found
complete stigma
exposed to strangers

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

The only rhyming poem I've ever attempted.. From high school :)

The Mermaid

One night, under the sea,
there lived a mermaid
and the mermaid was me.
The sky was black
with tiny sprinkles of light
everything was dark
and I was filled with fright.
I decided to swim to the top for some air,
when I realized too late
the beach had many people there.
Just as I reached the surface of the water,
a guy grabbed my arm
and claimed I was his daughter.
He noticed my fins and dropped me back in the sea.
I started to cry because
I realized I was me.
I couldn't stand up for myself,
I was far too weak.
No one could accept who I was
and I had forgotten I was a freak.
I wanted to die and return to the earth,
I made a decision to kill myself
I knew I would later be rebirthed.
The All will help me find the way,
but when I consulted my tarot cards
they had little to say.
I realized I was the only one who could decide
so I thought to myself,
I shall end this pain I failed to hide.
I looked down as the clam dug deep into my wrists,
the blood flowed around me
and all the fish threw a fit.
After awhile I soon saw the light.
My happiness was coming
and my smile was bright.
The story was over, I knew it was the end.
I was hoping somebody cared
and the truth did not bend.
Nautia, the mermaid of the sea.
She was no more,
she was me.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Is it rational to think it will be different with me?

Is it rational to think it will be different with me?
you can't take the play out of a player

I see her reflected in everything I see and do
The reflection on my wine glass reminds me
of the reflection of my eyes in hers
When she stares at me, I am vulnerable
her eyes searching the deepest darkest depths of my soul
she can read my every thought
she sees more about me than I can ever express

I want to love with the intensity I am capable of
to be stubborn like my Taurus moon
every night I dream about her and the potential we have
I think about the things we could do
....to each other mostly
When I wake it is usually followed by a brief depression
but then I remember that she still exists

I am screaming out at the top of my lungs:
Please fuck me!
Please love me!
Please... just hold me for one night.
Please.. we should probably just be friends.
Please.. don't stop.
Please... right there..
...... please.
I'm dreaming again.
Don't wake me up.

Maybe we could run away together
leave behind the broken pieces of
broken people who broke our hearts
We could pretend we aren't as defective as we are
glue back the remaining pieces
we could start all over again
I am a sexual person by nature
even though this medication lessens the urges

the problem now, is:

they say you're a player
a tease, a cheater
they tell me to stay away
i will only get hurt
but i am stubborn
and i like assholes
I sense a beautiful disaster.